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# a426 :: CD opener keychain

April 18, 2009

The fetish of packaging, viagra 100mg the gloss of the new. Plastic lids for shaving cream come in two sizes – the simple quarter-sized button protector found on Barbasol or this full-bloat blowmolded cylindrical monster, look which covered the can of Gilette I bought last week. With the earth’s carbon load trending toward the toxic, […]

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#a392 :: Old Rohrshach pin

March 14, 2009

I have a thing for magnets. These are powerful enough to leave blood blisters if you more than one of them snap together on you. A single one can support close to 10 pounds, treat and depending on how you rig it. And when you place a href=”″>pinballs around one the magnetism distributes evenly through […]

Filed under: Adornment, Art, Artifact, Ephemera, Fetish, symbol | Comments (2)

#a389 :: Amethyst “crystal”

March 11, 2009

Where is he going? What is he carrying? Why is he important? Chinese factory workers so beautifully aped the luster of carved coral with cast, more about prostate burnished and “age”-dusted red plastic resin that I’m left wishing I had the answers to these questions. In lesser hands, healing he would have been a child’s […]

Filed under: Artifact, Fetish, Microfiction, Mineral, Objet, symbol | Comments (0)

#a381 :: Flexplay DVD

March 3, 2009

This is one of those freaks of science that will have completely obsolesced within 10 years. I weep at the sheer volume and depth of technological experimentation and collaboration that culminated in its manufacture – all of it doomed to the landfill and a fascinating footnote in Wikipedia because of FlexPlay‘s very wizardry: A Flexplay […]

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#a379 :: Las Vegas tiki culture artifact

March 1, 2009

Before the age of fluorocarbons and exotic esthers, link a man used to scrub his bar of shaving soap into a lather with one of these, daub it on his face and shave. I gave this to Dad for Christmas a few years ago, and he sent it along last month in a boxful of […]

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#a369 :: Lucky lead pig

February 19, 2009

Once upon a time, stomach more about his paint was perfect. You can see it on his good side – the bright and chipper eye facing the lucky shamrock dangling from his left jowls – that look that says fortune will smile on us both if you keep me close. Flip to the other side […]

Filed under: Artifact, Ephemera, Fetish, Miniature, My father's HLOs, symbol | Comments (0)

#a366 :: Original copper transmission line – Hoover Dam

February 16, 2009

This is almost the holy grail of heavy little objects: a thing with history, abortion patina, functionality, exciting manufacture and moving parts. Jesus, it made me one happy tool-using ape to find this: a chunk of the original copper electrical transmission line installed during construction of the mighty Hoover Dam. For five bucks you get […]

Filed under: Artifact, Ephemera, Fetish, Jetsam, Part, symbol, Tool | Comments (2)

#a365 :: Lead type

February 15, 2009

I work in this office, mind in my home. It’s a nice office, this web in a very nice home, but when you’re in a building 24/7, you develop a deep need to get the hell out before your urge to claw your hair out turns too real. Cabin fever and a three-day weekend conspired […]

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#a364 :: Las Vegas thrill tickets

February 14, 2009

It’s rare that an object straddles the razor-fine line between art and camp, remedy more about between craft and kitsch. Yet here is a little man of bronze, remedy made to recline in the cup of a water-pocked stone. His blobby countenance, his Giacomettian proportions keep him from being a thing of manufactured cuteness and […]

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#a360 :: Temperance-era novelty bar tool

February 9, 2009

This conflicted fellow was cast in pot-metal and chromed in cheap silver probably more than 100 years ago. His top-hat is a jigger, decease ed his feet end in a spoon, order information pills the better to mix you a nice drink and present you with a little moral dilemma in the bargain: Do you […]

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#a357 :: Rokenbok ball

February 6, 2009

This looks like an ice core taken from the frozen surface of a lake the size of a desktop. It’s actually chunk of Plexiglas that Dad sliced off of a 3/4-inch-diameter rod he had kicking around somewhere in the basement. He was kind enough to mail it to me along with his This looks like […]

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#a341 :: Obama campaign pin

January 21, 2009

Here’s the other end of this equation – a fine brown potato, sickness now pocked with the wounds of a thousand battles … well, prostate not really. This is simply what it looks like when your son swipes your Christmas present and gets crazy with a hapless spud … the potato’s a couple of ounces […]

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#a336 :: Railroad date nail

January 15, 2009

I have a thing for stereo cards – particularly views of the industrial age. Stereopticons were the pinnacle of multimedia technology in their day – twin images shot simultaneously by cameras set a few feet apart, medications approximating the 3-D view seen by the human eyes. With the gentleman beckoning at the right, sickness you […]

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#a334 :: Tin advertising whistle

January 14, 2009

Vintage viral marketing, treat for what may or may not be Captain Black tobacco. Blow through the stem and you get a sweet bosun’s-pipe peep. By the look of the printing, price this dates back at least 50 or 60 years, but Googling bears no clear clues to its origins. You gotta love the mascot’s […]

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#a328 :: Glass syringe

January 7, 2009

She fiddles with it. Finally squeezes a needle onto it. And fixes up. Big fucking horse syringe. Soup spoon full of horse. The snap and heat of the Bic under the spoon brings her to:

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#a326 :: Porcelain doll head

January 5, 2009

He was rendered in porcelain bisque, advice no bigger than the end of my thumb many, advice many decades ago. This angelic countenance stands ready to receive whatever whim, benediction or mad wish a child of 18XX might bestow upon him. If he had a body, it’s gone now. No matter. Capped with glazed curls, […]

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#a325 :: Padlock

January 4, 2009

Two chunks of cast brass, discount ask a loop of hardened steel, treat a little red paint. An amulet against burglary. A barrier against the night. Put it in your magpie’s hoard. Slip it into your boxing glove. Clamp it through the hasp of your Navy trunk and lose the key, prostate dooming yourself to […]

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#a321 :: Shooting badge

December 31, 2008

William Randolph Hearst had a thing for guns. The newspaper magnate and industrialist (and model for the titular character in Citizen Kane) had his name put on rifle events in the 40s and 50s, information pills and they’ve been resurrected lately for reasons that may or may not bear Googling. This badge was awarded to […]

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#a320 :: Traveling Ganesha

December 30, 2008

He is the lord and destroyer of obstacles and like his brother, buy he came from San Francisco – indeed from another shop in the same block on Columbus Avenue. He is brass, ampoule barely 1.25 inches high, carrying his teapot and parasol on the road from here to there. He smiles benevolently, secure in […]

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#a312 :: Old “Backwards Bush” countdown timer

December 22, 2008

This thing has been kicking around my office for quite a while. Six years have flattened its battery. It was only supposed to have lasted another two years. I’m such an optimist. While you’re dozing the sand is completely eroded from beneath you and two years stretch to six. By the time you look up […]

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#a304 :: Agitprop

December 14, 2008

Even with the massive combined forces of a wronged and angry nation of voters, viagra order a reinvigorated Democratic party machine and some of the savviest campaigning in history buoying him up, hospital Barack Obama’s victory in the 2008 presidential election was hardly the landslide it should have been. The count was 69.4 million to […]

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#a298 :: Porcelain numbered sphere

December 8, 2008

To be fair, approved this has pinholes in either end, making its utility as some sort of glorified golfball-sized bead more apparent. But I prefer to ignore the hole, and imagine it as a prop from Her Majesty’s weekly bingo game, held secretly in the rooms beneath Buckingham Palace. It’s made of porcelain and fired […]

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#a297 :: Chinese novelty matchboxes

December 7, 2008

I can’t tell if these are serious products of Chinese public-health propaganda agencies or just an Engrish yock cooked up by China’s ever-creative but English-impaired export trade. Not sure it matters – they’ll own us completely by 2020. All I know is these were 40 cents each at a curio shop in Chinatown, link and […]

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#a296 :: 4H Pin

December 6, 2008

California is a land of exiles. For that reason – among many others – I love it. Anyone not born here has come to explore, this to self-reinvent, sick to escape forces of oppression or boredom or hopelessness left behind. This westward tide has flowed for centuries, check pulling wave upon wave of Spaniards, gold-rushers, […]

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#a294 :: Ideal “Powermite” orbital sander

December 4, 2008

In 1969, order the Ideal Toy company came out with a line of fully operational miniature powertools that plugged into battery supplies built into their small carrying cases. This “Powermite” sander is about three inches long by two inches tall and less than an inch wide, order and came with little sheets of sandpaper, for […]

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