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#a430 Spun aluminum pillbox

April 22, 2009

I’m at the far end of the wire. The warmth of the crowd rises up into the moldy canvas peak of the tent here. It pours from their eyes, their upturned, open mouths. I toss the balance pole into the air, pivot the other way, catch the pole and head back across the wire. Their […]

Filed under: Aluminum, Container, Ephemera, Facsimile, Fetish, Microfiction, Model, Objet | Comments (0)

#a402 :: “B.O.B.” toy

March 24, 2009

Since my wife is a member of ASIFA we got passes to a pre-release screening of Monsters vs. Aliens tonight. Verdict: It’s no Kung Fu Panda or Bolt, but it’s got enough yuks and snappy design to make an honest buck, and I might even see it again. They were giving away McDonald’s toys in […]

Filed under: Ephemera, Miniature, Model, Toy | Comments (0)

#a373 :: Snowshoe hare

February 23, 2009

Two thumbsplats for eyes, slick back his ears, give him an immense tail, and now he’s some sort of steroidal racing bunny-ghost. My daughter’s latest class project calls for a creature endowed with camouflage. She made this – and several others like it – out of Super Sculpey. It’s so pure, I can almost envision […]

Filed under: Art, Miniature, Model, symbol | Comments (0)

#a324 :: Fuse-Bead eyeball

January 3, 2009

My son shambles in, his hand covering his brow. “Dad, I hate to tell you this, but I’ve got a terrible case of pinkeye.” “What??? Oh, no. C’mere, let me see.” He turns and I see this fantastic Fuse-bead concoction clapped to his face. It’s still warm, fresh from the iron. I’m doubly thrilled – […]

Filed under: Art, Ephemera, Facsimile, Model, Toy | Comments (0)

#a315 :: Z-card

December 25, 2008

Have I mentioned these? I got a motorcycle in my stocking this year. I picture myself cut about an inch tall from 1/8″-thick styrofoam, clad in teeny, tiny laminate leather, my shiny mug grinning. Flat helmet under my flat arm. Peace to all out there. I hope yours has been a warm and strengthening holiday. […]

Filed under: Ephemera, Miniature, Model, Objet, symbol, Toy | Comments (0)

#a310 :: Blown glass Indian chief

December 20, 2008

We decorated the tree a couple days ago, and tonight we threw a massive Christmas party – I spent most of the day cooking ribs (27 racks) and gumbo (probably six or eight gallons) for 100 good friends, colleagues and family. It was a swell time. At the height of it, a toddler knocked a […]

Filed under: Art, Ephemera, Fetish, Miniature, Model, symbol | Comments (0)

#a295 :: Chocolate laptop

December 5, 2008

The company Christmas party went off tonight as it always does – a full-blown bash with excellent food and good company. The capper to the meal was a créme brulée in a little chocolate box, topped with this emblem cast in dark and white chocolate. I always choose the cruelest month to do my no-refined-sugar […]

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, Miniature, Model, symbol | Comments (0)

#a283 :: Million-dollar bill bible tract

November 22, 2008

This fine object puts the specie in specious: Someone at the Christian organization LivingWaters.com worked very, very hard on this piece of counterfeit. The four-color printing and gravure work are fine anough to pass the “holy, shit, WTF is that” moment after you’ve picked it up and still can’t believe it’s not money – that […]

Filed under: Art, Ephemera, Fetish, Found Object, Microfiction, Model, symbol, Tool | Comments (1)

#a281 :: Cupcake topper

November 21, 2008

More than 500 million human beings live in absolute poverty. Right now. Their lot is not changing. More than 15 million children die of hunger every year. Starve. To. Death. How many children is that? Numbers are pretty meaningless when you’re talking about entire nations of people, but do some math: Remember the faces of […]

Filed under: Art, Artifact, Ephemera, Facsimile, Fetish, Found Object, Jetsam, Miniature, Model, symbol, Toy | Comments (0)

#a276 :: Plasticene scottie

November 16, 2008

Random scottie facts: Franklin Delano Roosevelt owned one. George WorstPresidentinHistory Bush owned one too. Just days after his master’s party lost the election, Barney bit a reporter. Our family has owned scotties since we first got Captain MacHeath of Edgerstoune (Keefie) when I was just 14. My parents’ current scottie, Bridey, does not have cancer. […]

Filed under: Ephemera, Fetish, Model, Objet, symbol, Toy | Comments (0)

#a259 :: Polly Pocket shoes & handbags

October 30, 2008

Tiny accessories for teensy simulacra, these silicone shoelets and bagettes piled up in my daughter’s room until her obsession with Polly Pocket wore off and she tired of them and moved onto a new obsession. At some point, she got it into her head that she could sell them on eBay. I think she’s more […]

Filed under: Fetish, Miniature, Model, Part, Toy | Comments (0)

#a255 :: Bakugan set

October 26, 2008

Ittybitty, spherical monster-robot-creatures, about the size of a large marble, with rare-earth magnets in their butts. Roll them or drop them down onto a sheet-tin battle card and spring-loaded wings, necks and feet flip out. Grrrarrrghh, I guess. Nobody ever went broke overestimating the obsession of 9-year-old boys. If I were a kid I’d be […]

Filed under: Ephemera, Model, Toy, weapon | Comments (0)

#a253 :: Desk cleaning time

October 24, 2008

You own a lot of shit. You accumulate more of it every day. Sometimes, you have to pick through it to get your desk clean. And you make little piles. That might or might not be photographs of your life told in debris. And yet, you never seem to get rid of the things as […]

Filed under: Adornment, Art, Artifact, Blahg, Ephemera, Facsimile, Fetish, Found Object, Instrument, Jetsam, Life form, Miniature, Model, Objet, Part, symbol, Tool, Toy, weapon | Comments (0)

#a252 :: Dental casts

October 23, 2008

Overcome for a moment, if you can, the urge to vomit: You’re looking at casts of someone’s teeth – full bicuspid-to-incisor replicas of a human’s business end, cast in peach-colored plaster, mounted on more white plaster that is set into a hinged contraption meant to approximate the original owner’s jaw. Only the hinge is too […]

Filed under: Artifact, Found Object, Instrument, Model, Tool | Comments (0)

#a251 :: Valve caps

October 22, 2008

Hot rod culture coughs up the kitsch once again: Dice-shaped valve caps that say, “I’m a-gamblin’ with my life in this heap! I’m a risky man! Don’t trifle with me, ‘cos I don’t care what happens next!” Only these magnificent little bastards rode around on my thrashed ’62 Schwinn for countless street miles and six […]

Filed under: Ephemera, Model, Tool | Comments (0)

#a250 :: Big Bro Slig

October 21, 2008

In some lights, my 9-year-old son is my very heart dancing around outside my body, a handsome, smart, innocent, brave, funny, sensitive boy. In others, he’s a degenerate, unwashed, mouthbreathing game addict who would rather live a fantasy life through his hunched shoulders, twitching thumbs and unblinking bloodshot eyeballs than virtually anything else, including eating, […]

Filed under: Fetish, Miniature, Model, symbol, Toy | Comments (0)

#a215 :: Bus

September 16, 2008

Parallel to the spine of the bus: LEYLAND ROYAL TIGER COACH MADE IN ENGLAND BY LESNEY (and then just beneath the engine compartment) #40 From my wife’s collection.

Filed under: Art, Facsimile, Fetish, Miniature, Model, Toy | Comments (0)

#a214 :: Miniature tempura

September 15, 2008

Tiny morsels of molded silicon, hand-daubed to an irresistible crunchylookingness. Only 900 yen. The linchpin to a successful front-window display in your 1:8-scale restaurant. From the same niche of Japanese collectibles culture as this

Filed under: Facsimile, Fetish, Miniature, Model, Objet | Comments (0)

#a191 :: Metal ant

August 23, 2008

A birthday gift from my aunt. I kid you not. Eight rods of steel, artfully bent, and welded to three metal spheres. Where’s he off to? What’s his business?

Filed under: Art, Facsimile, Model, Objet, Toy | Comments (0)

#a167 :: Stonehenge keychain

July 29, 2008

There is a certain poetry to this tiny portrait of one of man’s oldest surviving places of ceremony: A matrix of dots, etched or blown into a block of clear glass, spells out Stonehenge‘s shape at palm size, giving you a portable tour of the place. Here, no less than there, the broken circles of […]

Filed under: Fetish, Miniature, Model, Objet, symbol | Comments (0)

#a154 :: Antique race car

July 17, 2008

The vehicular fetishes of young Britons of the 20th century line the crowded shelves of the marvelous Brighton Toy and Model Museum. This land-speed monster dates from the 40s or 50s.

Filed under: Facsimile, Fetish, Miniature, Model, Toy | Comments (0)

#a146 :: Wiimote flashlight

July 9, 2008

The world’s hardshell exterior surrounds a doughy heart of kitsch: Anything initially cool – the remote to a Nintendo Wii game system, for instance – can impart its cool to common objects by simple mimicry. Bluntly put, things that look like other definite things are automatically “better” because of the same dim-witted value system that […]

Filed under: Facsimile, Fetish, Miniature, Model, Tool, Toy | Comments (0)

#a141 :: Sushi erasers

July 4, 2008

And while we’re at it, sometimes you make mistakes so egregious that only wiping them out with a rubberized chunk of fish and rice will do. My wife found this at our favorite Japanese supermarket, and kindly annotated it with another HLO – the venerable Post-It note – about which, more later.

Filed under: Facsimile, Jetsam, Miniature, Model, Tool | Comments (0)

#a140 :: Shrunken-head tiki mug

July 3, 2008

My wife gave me this for my birthday a couple years ago, to add to my growing collection. Tiki culture is a marvelous cross-pollination of camp, partying and 50s mass-marketed hipsterism. This one was designed, slip-poured, glazed and fired by Tiki Farm, but if you’re hunting for others, Munktiki turns out some beauts. You pull […]

Filed under: Art, Facsimile, Fetish, Miniature, Model, Objet | Comments (0)

#a120 :: Silicone clown fish puzzle

June 13, 2008

A lifetime of desiring and acquiring manufactured things has warped my brain, reprogrammed my very lizard DNA, I’m sure of it: This toy’s translucent color and pungent, exotic-plastic aroma make it seem good enough to eat. I pull it apart into convenient, bite-sized pieces, and consider the options: reassemble? Or devour?

Filed under: Facsimile, Fetish, Model, Toy | Comments (0)


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