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#a433 :: Potato chip

April 25, 2009

Her: Dad, is this a heavy little object? Me: Yep.

Filed under: Edible, Found Object, Jetsam | Comments (0)

#a413 :: White chocolate fortune cookie

April 4, 2009

A thrilling adventure is in my near future. I know this because a piece of paper baked into a cookie, dipped in white chocolate and wrapped in red foil told me so. A quick dinner at Panda Inn this evening, then off to see Knowing. It proves to be too intense for him – he’s […]

Filed under: Edible, Fetish | Comments (0)

#a407 :: Beef jerky

March 29, 2009

In another life, before kids, before marriage, I owned a used Hobie 16 that I sailed out of Ventura Harbor and Marina del Rey. Provisions always included beer, a cigar and a bag of beef jerky (or if I had time to stop off in Ventura at the Jerky Factory, turkey jerky. You could keep […]

Filed under: Edible | Comments (0)

#a401 :: Lime fruit pop

March 23, 2009

Me: Aw, crap, I don’t know what I’m going to shoot tonight, I don’t have any good objects. Daughter: How about my popsicle, Daddy?

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera | Comments (0)

#a398 :: Ritter Sport chocolate

March 20, 2009

One of the richest, purest narcotics known to the confectionery sciences. It’s legal crack. Full stop.     

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, Fetish | Comments (1)

#a385 :: Girl Scout Cookie

March 7, 2009

The cookies we bought from my Brownie daughter arrived this week. New flavor: Dulce de Leche. Dulce de Leche: New for 2009, and inspired by the classic confections of Latin America, these sweet, indulgent cookies are rich with milk caramel chips and stripes. They come in a turquoise box, and are made by Little Brownie […]

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, Fetish | Comments (0)

#a368 :: Phillippe’s hot mustard

February 18, 2009

She peered into the jar, dubious. “Go on, dolly, put some on your sandwich. It won’t bite ya.” He was stifling a grin, the louse. She knew he’d take her to a joint like this. He was a shift-boss at her job at Lockheed, always real sweet to her at quitting time. When she was […]

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, Microfiction | Comments (0)

#a348 :: Prime Meridian rock candy

January 28, 2009

We lay these arbitrary lattices of meaning over earth and sky, trying to explain the wonder of existence. When industry and science began to catch up to the human need to explain who was where exactly when and how far is here from there, we came up with the notion of time, the 24 hour […]

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, symbol | Comments (0)

#a329 :: Ferrero Rocher dark chocolate truffle

January 8, 2009

Here’s a sweet chaser to yesterday’s grim ditty: The Ferrero Rocher dark chocolate truffle is a multilayered confection, starting with a chocolate-sprinkled shell of chocolate-coated wafer wrapped around a rich dark-chocolate truffle encasing a slightly chewier core of chocolate so dark it seems to absorb light, thought and reason. God these things are trouble. Good […]

Filed under: Art, Edible, Fetish | Comments (0)

#a316 :: Japanese jellies

December 26, 2008

A gift from our lovely friend Arden. Once upwrapped, the gilt, almost fetishized packaging reveals jellies of every type and description (red bean, plum, green tea). This one was clear, virtually flavorless until you dropped a spoonful of the powdered sweet green tea powder on top of it.

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, Fetish | Comments (0)

#a314 :: Aftermath – successful Christmas Eve experiment

December 24, 2008

My daughter challenges me. “How do you get the egg into the bottle?” I seem to remember something about heating the bottle – I try running it under hot water, then putting the hard-boiled egg on its mouth and waiting for the air inside to contract and suck it inside. Nothing. I push down a […]

Filed under: Edible, Tool | Comments (2)

#a305 :: Rice crackers

December 15, 2008

“Dad. Eat this.” She holds out her hand. “What is it?” “Rice cracker.” Crunchcrunchcrunch. “Eugh!” “It’s spicy.” She smiles. I smile. She’s seven.

Filed under: Edible | Comments (0)

#a299 :: Decaying orange

December 10, 2008

I was going to wax philosophical about the inevitability of decay, the magnificence of biology doing its tiny job, about the way ashes do always turn to ashes and dust to … But I’m halfway through a 3-day business trip, I’ve been working till 11 every night, and, well, I’m bushed. (In more ways than […]

Filed under: Edible, Jetsam, Life form | Comments (2)

#a295 :: Chocolate laptop

December 5, 2008

The company Christmas party went off tonight as it always does – a full-blown bash with excellent food and good company. The capper to the meal was a créme brulée in a little chocolate box, topped with this emblem cast in dark and white chocolate. I always choose the cruelest month to do my no-refined-sugar […]

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, Miniature, Model, symbol | Comments (0)

#a292 :: Y Muscle Water bottle

December 2, 2008

I haven’t opened this yet. I don’t care what it tastes like, or even whether it does what it claims: Y MUSCLE WATER – because you never know who’s going to challenge you to a wrestling match. 100% natural and certified organic: Reverse osmosis water, organic evaporated cane juice, organic white grape juice, organic hibiscus, […]

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, Fetish | Comments (0)

#a273 :: Ramune candy

November 13, 2008

This is the chewable version of the contents of this. 99 cents at the Japanese market downtown. Chalky little lozenges of faintly effervescent candy. the sort of thing aliens might eat, if aliens ate sweets. Which is not to say that we’re sure that they don’t.

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera | Comments (0)

#a269 :: Mini-Tabasco

November 9, 2008

The thinking man’s ketchup. I attended the huge Disney Animation Studios wrap party for Bolt (an excellent cartoon, by the way) and they were passing these out with the cocktail shrimp. It’s barely an inch and a half tall, and enough to salt a pot of soup or – in my case – a dozen […]

Filed under: Edible, Ephemera, Fetish | Comments (0)

#a258 :: Dessicated green bean

October 29, 2008

Don’t ask me how it got from the freezer to the cupboard, but my son brought me this earlier today. I’m trying to picture it as an oblong green asteroid, and failing. You?

Filed under: Edible, Found Object, Jetsam, Life form, symbol | Comments (0)

#a238 :: Clementine`

October 9, 2008

A tart bang across her tongue. Orange fresh. Hard work won it. She had carried herself well. She deserved this little palm-sized fruit. Even now, moments after she had slit the skin with a thumbnail and started the engine. Despite what she’d done, this was her moment to enjoy her snack. Bracing her thumb, had […]

Filed under: Edible, Microfiction, Objet, symbol | Comments (0)

#a228 :: Candy corn

September 29, 2008

o thou wicked junk corn syrup all sticky sweet rot my teeth, you fiends

Filed under: Edible, Facsimile | Comments (0)

#a206 :: Bull’s-eye mint

September 7, 2008

Pinch it at one end till the cellophane envelope bursts and pops it into your hand. Toss it into your mouth. Crunchcrunchcrunch. Cool lips. Shards in your gums. Sweet dose. Perfect endorphin hit to the brain. Now do it again.

Filed under: Edible, Toy | Comments (0)

#a203 :: McVitie’s Penguin

September 4, 2008

Some snacks leave you teetering on the knife edge between sublimation and indulgence, between having your cake and eating it too. A Penguin taunts you: “Ooo, look, crunchy cho-co-late bis-cuit sheathed in creeeamy cho-co-late, bet you can’t wait to eat me” and simultaneously promises “I won’t last long, I’ll leave you wanting more and if […]

Filed under: Edible, Fetish | Comments (0)

#a173 :: Chewable toothbrush

August 4, 2008

British ingenuity has concocted a perfect offering for airport vending machines: For a £1 coin, you get two of these: It’s a spherical plastic capsule. Split it open, and there’s a circular sheet of instructions and an oddball chunk of nylon with bristles on one half and a capsule on the other. Pop the capsule […]

Filed under: Edible, Tool | Comments (0)

#a169 :: Happy Hippos

July 31, 2008

Like hippos emerging through river foam (?), Kinder brand Happy Hippos are hazelnut-cream cookie pods dipped in thick-grained sugar and given a few squirts of color in each eye just prior to put into individual cellophane wraps and released to a cute-susceptible public. They’re also yummy.

Filed under: Edible, Facsimile, Miniature | Comments (0)

#a162 :: Baby carrots

July 25, 2008

Did these things even exist 10 years ago? No, I think that at some point, some wise vegetable salesman decided to start milling his carrots. And an entire bite-sized-snack class of its own was launched. These go down by the pound around here. They taste perfectly clean and wonderful, but spirituallyfeel as if someone’s juggled […]

Filed under: Edible, Life form | Comments (1)