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#a110 :: Handmade volcano

June 4, 2008

A mighty volcano lies dormant, as it has since it was formed by powerful forces of pressure and moisture and imagination six days ago. But rumblings have been heard in its vicinity. The natives swear it sounds like the pleadings of a young boy. Soon, they fear, it will erupt in a blast of vinegar […]

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#a109 :: Wacky Packs

June 2, 2008

At some point in 1967, the creative department of the chewing-gum-and-baseball-cards giant Topps took a wild stab at a new product: They hired comic-book artists (Art Spiegelman, Kim Deitch, Drew Friedman, Bill Griffith, (among others) to draw wicked parodies of major brand labels. Marvelous anarchy bloomed. They printed the gags on to stickers – Suffertone […]

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#108 :: Chibi giant robot warrior

June 1, 2008

I’ve written before of chibi. No more about that need be said. Right here, Scope Dog (or someone very much like him) packs two big fat weapons on his short, stout person. He’s 5 inches high and balances quite well on his feet – one at a time – if you provoke him.

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#a107 :: Mexican figurine debris

June 1, 2008

Shit. This was whole at one point. Then I moved the fridge to futz with the water feed line and it toppled off, shplattering all over the kitchen floor.

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#a106 :: Nano clips

May 30, 2008

My keyring is getting out of hand. Time to reorganize. I ordered these online, taking a guess at the size. They’re too small. So now I have 10 each of three kinds of precision-made, stainless-steel fasteners. A still-gnarly fistful of keys and tools. And a new order in to the manufacturer.

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#a79 :: Finger Kite

May 2, 2008

It folds out from a ripstop nylon pouch the size of a cigar case. Its fiberglass ribs hold it together in 30 mph winds. It’s barely 8 inches long fully assembled. It’s a Finger Kite!

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#a47 :: Styrofoam real estate

March 31, 2008

Little punch-out strips of styrofoam, imprinted with brick, stucco, tile, wood and glass. They’re a child’s plaything, a kitsch archetype, a metaphor for the insubstantial fragility of the current real estate market. So many hopes and dreams, hanging upon such a breakable substance, basically consigned to the four winds upon its manufacture. Build a house. […]

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#a34 :: Goth fetish beads

March 18, 2008

At some point, cool morphs into kitsch – and kitsch into drooling fan-dork overkill. With these tiny metal sculptures, the balancing game happens at around six or seven. A single bead on a chain – an itty-bitty skull carved into the muscle end of an animal claw and cast in metal – feels very cool, […]

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#a30 :: The Little Oxford Dictionary

March 14, 2008

di’ctionary: n. book explaining, usu. in alphabetical order, words of a language, or giving of their equivalents in another language; reference book of words and topics of a subject arranged alphabetically

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#a19 :: Raccoon skull

March 3, 2008

Some days you’re the windshield and some days you’re the bug. I’ve felt pretty windshieldy the past few days – terrific geekfest demo of a Facebook app I’ve been collaborating on. Job offer landed with an excellent company that I’ve been contracting for. Basement renovation project coming to fruition. Massive simultaneous re launch Sunday of […]

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#a5 :: Child’s water bottle

February 18, 2008

For the past, let’s see, six months, my 8-year-old son has been bandying this … phrase … about. For a while, he didn’t know what it meant, and cared even less, but he would utter this phrase every chance he got, snickering and cackling like a fiend. It is the funniest thing he’s ever heard. […]

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#a4 :: Chinese laser/LED combo

February 17, 2008

On a side trip to dusty Guangzho province during our honeymoon nearly 14 years ago, it all came clear to me: Town after town shared the same burly energy: raw labor in copious supply. Assembly lines, construction sites, and industrial workshops pungent with the gritty tang of toxins being applied with deft haste – everywhere, […]

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#a1 :: Bodywork dolly

February 15, 2008

I’ve missed this blog. Hello, old friend. This black lump of cast iron could be any number of things: A chunk of railroad tie fashioned into a doorstop, (or so claimed the antique store owner in Cutchogue, Long Island who sold it to me for 9 bucks over Christmas). An anchor for wayward blueprints on […]

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#364 :: Shaman

February 13, 2005

Friends and web-cruisers: This phase of HEAVY LITTLE OBJECTS is drawing to a close. I’ll announce the winner of the Luchador Libre contest in two days – (it’s not too late to enter!) I can’t say what this site will become, but with tomorrow’s entry – the last of a near-solid year’s worth of daily […]

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#362 :: Cuban Cigars

February 11, 2005

They arrive like smuggled slugs of radioactive metal, encased in sheets of cedar and sheathed in little tubes of machined aluminum. A relative (I shan’t say which) snuck them off a cruise ship and back in through Customs. The tobacco tastes no more extraordinary than the average Dominican blend – woody, rich in the back […]

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#359 :: Clockwork Tin Bus

February 8, 2005

Wind the key, and it goes – a self-locomoting toy, the culmination of myriad simple technologies in a complex, palm-sized plaything: Wheels – once just logs used to move other logs, now advanced to trim wheel/hub/axle design. Tin lithography – the semblance of color, depth and detail printed in Benday dots on machine-cut, rust-prone sheet […]

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#354 :: Carnation

February 3, 2005

A sweet, dimheaded, new smell in my 16th year, the smell of the white carnation my mom pinned to the lapel of my prom jacket. Something suffused with promise and age, almost as if a mantle were bestowed upon me, a threshold placed before me and a sword and shield thrust into my hands. “You […]

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#353 :: Stereo Realist viewer

February 2, 2005

In its heyday, the Stereo Realist 3-D camera was the most popular 3-D camera around – used by Harold LLoyd, Dwight D. Eisenhower, Edgar Bergen (and one would assume, Charlie McCarthy to capture the world in stunning 3-D. I was introduced to my fetish in art school, when I went to an exhibit of stereo […]

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January 30, 2005

FRIENDS: HLO will be down for the next day or so as I switch servers. If I were an expert DBA, I’d have it done in 60 minutes, but the fact is I’m just this guy who knows a little HTML, so I’m slogging through all the command-line jungles without much of a machete. The […]

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#348 :: Juego de Lucha Libre

January 23, 2005

Announcing a CONTEST. It’s been quite a while since I last offered a prize to those of you who visit HEAVY LITTLE OBJECTS on a regular basis, but with post 350 approaching (and the end of the one-year commitment I promised myself I’d give to this project) it seemed an appropriate time to do it […]

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#340 :: Painted Tin Mirror

January 15, 2005

This festive little tin vortex reminds me of the stupid amount of money I spent playing arcade games in college. One that comes to mind is Tempest, a crabwalking dance with paranoia and the chaos of alien battle. I’m making it sound more complicated and less dramatic than it was. You stared down a vortex […]

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#335 :: Wallpaper Print Block

January 10, 2005

The oil lamp guttered and went out in a little puff of soot. She sat, thumbs a-fidget, not wanting to stick her finger with the needle, but unable to keep still, with her sewing on the lap of her crinoline hoopskirt, in the dark. “I’m done being pleasant about this, ma’am,” Mr. Quimby had muttered, […]

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#334 :: Digital Press Kit

January 9, 2005

Science holds that birds have magnetic brains. Tiny though they are, little chunks of avian gray matter gravitate toward the correct pole (depending on the season) based on a sensitivity to their position in the magnetosphere: *Some birds have their own “compasses” built into their brains and orient according to magnetic north. In one of […]

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#332 :: C-3PO Pez Dispenser

January 7, 2005

Modern man has a relentless, hardwired hunger for the institutionalized fetish. We worship computers, guns and stuffed animals with the same fervor reserved for prophets and rockstars. We commercialize our obsessions. We build our very obsessions into fetishes. Physical objects give meaning to the otherwise baffling ethereality of daily life. Unable to find enough mutual […]

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#330 :: Automotive Logo – Print Slug

January 4, 2005

My grandfather was a newsman. He helped the St. Petersburg Times get started, and in later years he ran a Linotype. A story and a half high, the huge machine with its weird keyboard (ETAOIN SHRDLU instead of QWERT YUIOP) let the operator bang out lines of hot metal type in a few seconds instead […]

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