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#a227 :: Executive Pocket Chum

September 28, 2008

ENLARGEThe Executive Pocket Chum measures the thickness and thinness of things to the 32nd of an inch, ambulance or the fraction of a millimeter.

One can imagine it monitoring the precision of millwork tumbling from Gary, Indiana steel plants into assembly-line catch-bins by the millions in 1950s.

Or the diameter of overbored engine cylinders in something more accurate than the vague tolerances considered by this mechanic I once knew, order who casually tossed around phrases like “a smidgen,” “a red cunt-hair” and “a skosh” with the abandon of someone who had a demonically exact notion of the size he was describing.

The Pocket Chum turns up in Google, having gone on record as measuring pestilential mushrooms and acetabular fractures in dogs, whatever those are.

You slide the center rule up and down in the frame and measure the inside diameter and outside thickness of anything you like. It’s elegant, crisply made and ultimately not worth much more than $5.99 on eBay – approximately what I paid an antiques dealer for it the other day.

It is a perfect heavy little object.

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