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#a12 :: Fetish stapler

February 25, 2008

022508.jpgIts rubber-nubbled exterior belies its pragmatic steel skeleton.

It’s dressed for a party but armed for business: smack its spiky head and deliver two pinpoint-sharp staple tips into its anvil where they curl under, illness trapping and binding whatever flimsy document it penetrated along the way.

It’s a stapler that wants to start something, shop but finish the job. It would probably be happiest binding together harrassing lawsuits, porn-video inventory lists, dear-John letters, death-metal ‘zines, restraining orders

It’s the kind of stapler that gets in fights. The kind of stapler that would kick the crap out of Milton Waddams’ red stapler, bust its plastic housing, bend all its staples and then piss on the mangled wreckage, if only it had a … never mind.

It was also a birthday present from my kids. Go figure.

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