{"id":1610,"date":"2009-04-20T21:41:26","date_gmt":"2009-04-21T05:41:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/?p=1610"},"modified":"2026-02-18T10:29:41","modified_gmt":"2026-02-18T18:29:41","slug":"a428-undesirable-keychain-tag","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/?p=1610","title":{"rendered":"#a428 :: Undesirable keychain tag"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/042009.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-thumbnail wp-image-1611\" title=\"042009\" src=\"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/042009-150x150.jpg\" alt=\"042009\" width=\"150\" height=\"150\" align=\"right\" srcset=\"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/042009-150x150.jpg 150w, http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/042009-300x300.jpg 300w, http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/04\/042009.jpg 800w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 150px) 100vw, 150px\" \/><\/a>At some point last month, my mother-in-law gave my daughter (age 7) a little keyring with a big fob that spelled out &#8220;Love&#8221; in lurid gold-chromed script.<\/p>\n<p>It was schwag from some utterly-too-grownup movie, <a style=\"text-decoration: none; color: #676c6c;\" href=\"http:\/\/viagra-professional.net\">find<\/a> as evidenced by the little stamped-metal tag proclaiming the brand. Here&#8217;s what ensued the moment I laid eyes on it:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Me: (rummaging for the pliers) Here, let me fix that for you.<\/p>\n<p>Daughter: Dad, can&#8217;t I keep that?<\/p>\n<p>Uh, <i>no<\/i>. (*snap!*)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I could go on here about the bizarre cultural currency our infantilized nation has created around the fetishism of branded schwag, but I&#8217;m saving all my energy for, oh, about four or five years from now when she starts pushing back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At some point last month, my mother-in-law gave my daughter (age 7) a little keyring with a big fob that spelled out &#8220;Love&#8221; in lurid gold-chromed script. It was schwag from some utterly-too-grownup movie, find as evidenced by the little stamped-metal tag proclaiming the brand. Here&#8217;s what ensued the moment I laid eyes on it: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[37,19,6,4,11],"tags":[43],"class_list":["post-1610","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ephemera","category-fetish","category-jetsam","category-part","category-symbol","tag-pot-metal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1610"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1757,"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1610\/revisions\/1757"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1610"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1610"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/heavylittleobjects.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1610"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}