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#144 :: Fuckin’ Wirenuts

July 3, 2004

Aaaaah, fuck. I dropped my fuckin’ wirenut. Hey, gimme another o’ those li’l fuckers, willya? Nah, not that one, gimme one o’ the big fuckin’ orange fuckers. Thanks. The fucker who invented fuckin’ wirenuts was one dedicated son of a bitch, man. Probably spent his days twisting 10-gauge wire together and balling it up in black fuckin’ electrician’s tape. Tore his fingers all to pieces, torques his wrist doing it with a wrench. I wonder how long that fucker did this, day in and fuckin’ day out, until a light just went on in his head, a big, fuckin’ cartoon lightbulb just like in the fuckin’ cartoons, and he says to himself, fuck this, what if you just make a little plastic knob with a tiny screw-in metal socket embedded in the end that you just twist onto the end of a couple of wires that you need to join? A few quick turns, and the wires are jammed together good ‘n’ tight like they’re one wire again, and the fucker won’t even move. I bet I could make a fuckin’ million if I ever thought of patenting the thing. Fuckin’ wirenuts. They keep the whole fuckin’ world running. Fuck

Filed under: Tool | Comments (2)


  1. Matt July 8, 2004 @ 12:47 pm

    These things may indeed run certain parts of the world. But this is the first time I’ve *ever* seen or heard of them!

    Just did a google restricting to UK – the better hits were for rock-climbing gear. Which is surely more up your street anyway – you know more metal on show, etc.

  2. mack July 8, 2004 @ 8:23 am

    Hmmm. I was under the impression they’re pretty universally available … In any case, they’re part of the American contractor vernacular, and marvelously simple little devices. I never wire anything without ’em.